Abraham Lincoln once said, “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” His words capture a truth that modern psychology and timeless faith both affirm: happiness is often a decision of the heart. It is not something that simply happens when life is easy. It is something we consciously nurture, especially when life circumstances feel heavy.

For many Muslim women, happiness can feel complicated. Between societal expectations, stereotypes, and family responsibilities, joy may seem like a distant luxury. Yet, Islam reminds us that happiness is not a denial of hardship. It is a form of strength. The Qur’an teaches, “Indeed, with hardship comes ease” (Qur’an 94:6). This verse reframes our view of happiness. It is not the absence of pain, but the presence of faith and hope within it.

Choosing happiness, therefore, becomes a spiritual act. It is a declaration that no matter what life brings, you can still find peace in your heart and purpose in your journey.

Beyond Toxic Positivity: What Choosing Happiness Really Means

Choosing happiness is not about pretending everything is fine. It is not about forcing a smile or silencing your emotions. This kind of false cheerfulness, often called toxic positivity, can make pain feel invalid and discourage healing.

Authentic happiness acknowledges the full range of human emotions. Sadness, fear, and anger are not weaknesses; they are natural responses to life’s challenges. Islam does not ask us to suppress them. Instead, it teaches us to process them with patience and faith. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, while there is good in both. Strive for that which will benefit you…” (Muslim, 2664).

This hadith reminds us that resilience and emotional strength are acts of faith. To “choose happy” is not to ignore hardship, but to meet it with authenticity. It is to say: I will feel what I need to feel, but I will not let pain define me. That is what authentic happiness truly means.

The Faith Factor: Happiness as a Spiritual Act

In Islam, choosing happiness is deeply tied to tawakkul; trust in Allah. To trust is to believe that whatever unfolds has wisdom behind it, even if we do not yet understand it. Allah promises, “And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him” (Qur’an 65:3).

This trust frees the heart. When you surrender your worries to Allah, you create space for peace. Gratitude (shukr) and remembrance (dhikr) are two powerful ways to nurture this peace. The Qur’an teaches, “If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]” (Qur’an 14:7). Gratitude multiplies joy because it shifts focus from what is missing to what is already there.

Your own happiness, then, becomes an act of worship. It is not selfish to seek joy. It is a form of gratitude to Allah, a sign that you recognize His blessings even in uncertainty. Happiness is an act of strength, resilience, and faith, not denial.

According to Islam Online, "As most of us have come to realize, happiness is that ethereal quality that encompasses contentment and peacefulness; it is the soft joy that causes our lips, faces and hearts to smile. It is determined by faith in God and obedience to Him. Thus happiness embodies the peace security and submission that is Islam."

The Five Pillars of Choosing Happiness

Just as faith is built on pillars, happiness also rests on foundations that sustain it. These practices turn “I choose happiness” from an idea into a daily way of living.

1. Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude

Gratitude transforms how you experience the world. Pause to thank Allah for small blessings, such as the morning light, a kind word, or a lovely moment of peace. When you do this, you train your heart to notice beauty. Daily journaling, reflection, and prayer help foster positive emotions.

For one, Islam Way reminds us, "Exert an effort in weighing words before saying them; make sure your words are good and righteous, far from evil. A word has a great responsibility, how many words took their speaker to heaven, and how many words plunged them into the bottom of hell."

Allah reminds us of His continuous care: “And He found you lost and guided [you], and He found you poor and made [you] self-sufficient” (Qur’an 93:7–8). Gratitude is not about ignoring pain but recognizing that Allah has never left you, even in the hardest moments.

2. Nurture Meaningful Relationships

Human connection is one of the strongest predictors of happiness. We are not meant to walk this journey alone. The Qur’an instructs, “And hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not become divided” (Qur’an 3:103).

Strong relationships with family, friends, and community offer comfort and perspective. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “A person is upon the religion of his close friend...” (Abu Dawud, 4833). Surround yourself with people who uplift you and remind you of Allah. Meaningful relationships make life richer, even during hardship.

According to the Muslima Guide, "Personal connections bring joy: Reach out to friends, family, or community members to share experiences and find solace in human connection."

3. Embrace Self-Care and Self-Acceptance

Your body and mind are a trust (amanah) from Allah. Taking care of them is part of worship. “And do not throw [yourselves] with your [own] hands into destruction. And do good; indeed, Allah loves the doers of good” (Qur’an 2:195).

Self-care is not indulgence; it is stewardship. Sleep, nutrition, prayer, and moments of reflection help sustain emotional well-being. The Prophet said, “Your body has a right over you” (Bukhari, 5199). If you struggle with mental illness, such as major depressive disorder, or feelings of sadness, approach them with compassion, not shame. Seeking help is strength, not weakness.

4. Act with Purpose: Align Life with Values

True happiness comes from living with meaning. The Qur’an reminds us, “And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me” (Qur’an 51:56). Worship here goes beyond prayer. It includes every act of goodness and service done sincerely.

When your actions reflect your values, you feel your live a fulfilling life. You find happiness not only in what you achieve but in who you become. Purpose gives direction and turns ordinary moments into acts of devotion.

5. Navigate Life’s Challenges with Grace and Resilience

Everyone faces trials: money worries, family pressures, identity struggles. The Qur’an assures us, “Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear” (Qur’an 2:286). This verse reminds us that challenges are tailored to our strength.

When difficulties arise, pause and breathe. Remind yourself that happiness is still a choice, even in adversity. You can feel sadness without losing faith, and fear without losing hope. Through prayer, reflection, or a quiet moment of meditation, you can reconnect with peace.

The Impact of Happiness on Mental Health

Modern research in positive psychology echoes what the Qur’an teaches. “Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest” (Qur’an 13:28). Happiness is not just emotional. It is physiological. Positive emotions reduce stress, strengthen the immune system, and improve resilience.

When you choose joy, you are not ignoring pain. You are strengthening your heart to handle it better. Faith-based happiness builds emotional well-being, balances mood, and improves self-esteem. It creates a sense of calm that no external success can replicate.

Finding Happiness in Daily Life

Happiness often hides in ordinary moments. It appears in laughter shared with loved ones, a peaceful cup of tea, or quiet reflection after prayer. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “Smiling in the face of your brother is charity” (Tirmidhi, 1956).

When you consciously live in the present moment, you begin to notice these small mercies. You find joy not by chasing perfection but by embracing all the details of the moment you are in. Allow yourself to slow down, breathe, and feel gratitude for the simple blessings that make your soul blossom.

The Power of Positive Thinking

Positive thinking is not about denial. It is about perspective. The Qur’an reminds us twice in succession, “So verily, with the hardship, there is relief” (Qur’an 94:5–6). Even when life feels difficult, relief is always nearby.

Cultivating positive thoughts helps you see possibilities where fear once stood. Gratitude and forgiveness also enhance emotional well-being. When you forgive others and yourself, you release the weight of bitterness. This shift in thinking nurtures life satisfaction and peace.

Moving Forward: A Conscious Decision Every Single Day

Happiness is not a single choice made once; it is a decision renewed each day. The Qur’an says, “Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves” (Qur’an 13:11).

Every morning is a new opportunity to say, I choose happiness. Research supports this too. Positive psychology expert Martin Seligman found that happy people are not those without problems but those who consistently choose gratitude and purpose. Abraham Lincoln’s words still hold true: “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

Choosing joy, then, is both evidence-based and faith-inspired. It is a daily practice of renewal.

Your Journey Is Continuous Growth

Personal growth is not a race. It is a lifelong process of learning, reflecting, and improving. The Qur’an beautifully promises, “And those who strive for Us – We will surely guide them to Our ways. And indeed, Allah is with the doers of good” (Qur’an 29:69).

Progress is what matters, not perfection. Some days joy comes easily; other days it takes effort. What counts is that you keep striving. When you focus on growth instead of comparison, you nurture patience, humility, and self-compassion. Each step forward, however small, is a victory.

Empower Your Journey: Tools to Continue Your Growth

To make happiness a lasting habit, integrate small, consistent practices into your life. Journaling helps you process thoughts. Meditation and prayer calm the mind. Gratitude apps can remind you to reflect on blessings.

Allah says, “So remember Me; I will remember you. And be grateful to Me and do not deny Me” (Qur’an 2:152). The more you remember Allah, the more peace enters your heart.

Empower yourself to take control of your focus and energy. Happiness does not mean life will always be easy. It means you are choosing to respond with faith, effort, and gratitude.

“I choose happiness because my identity, my voice, and my faith are sources of confidence, not barriers.” This affirmation captures the heart of a Muslim woman’s journey toward joy. Happiness is not a privilege for the few. It is a conscious, sacred choice, one you can make every single day.